“The narcissist will make accusations to slander your character and they want you to defend yourself.”
The narcissist will make accusations to slander your character and they want you to defend yourself. Keeping you on the defensive keeps the ball in their court. They’re keeping you busy. But if you don’t defend yourself they portray your silence as an admission of guilt. So what? It doesn’t prove anything and it is not an admission of guilt. Remember, narcissists play the short game of superficial appearances, lies and manipulation; our best tactic is to play the long game where truth naturally prevails. When you might defend yourself: Defending yourself can make sense if there’s a factual or legal consequence—for example, a work accusation, legal matter, or serious public defamation. In these cases, it’s done strategically, with evidence, and often without emotional engagement. Everyday petty attacks from a narcissist? Best strategy is usually silence, boundaries, and disengagement. Bottom line: Not defending yourself emotionally or reactively is almost always better. Defend only when...